What if He Grows Up to be a Chef?????????????

The Christmas that my son was 2 and 1/2 there were lots of things on his Christmas list. A few of the items were actually things he himself added (anything remotely related to Thomas the Tank Engine, Scooby Do slippers, a firetruck, a construction truck Lego set). Being his mother, I was naturally clairvoyant regarding a few items he was going to love but that he, at 2 and 1/2, didn't have the life experience to know yet that he really wanted. And two things that he really wanted were a baby doll and a kitchen.

Now I KNOW what you're thinking.... "here we go, PC liberal feels a need to bring out the feminine side in her son. She wants to make damned sure he doesn't grow up not knowing its OK to cry. She really wanted a girl so she's going to make him a substitute. She's mad at men so she's going to 'fix' the one she gave birth to." Well, NOPE... none of the above. No big agenda here. Here's the deal... I was trying to get pregnant with my 2nd child and wanted my son to have a baby doll so we could practice what it was like having a baby around the house... you know.... "we rock the baby, we're GENTLE with the baby, babies wear diapers and sleep in cribs and ride in strollers." I wanted him to have a kitchen for an equally practical purpose.... so that he would have somewhere to play in the REAL kitchen without emptying my cabinets and trying to "help" me cook each evening.

So anyway... the J-U-L-Y before the above mentioned Christmas, my mother calls and this is what follows:

Her: "What does he want for Christmas?"
Me: (obviously, forgetting who I was speaking with): "A Kitchen"

Her: "What??????????????"
(I admire the consistency with which she feigns deafness every time I say something she doesn't want to hear, which is just about every time she calls.)
Me: "A Kitchen"

(What happens next is about 20 minutes of her trying to talk me out of buying him a kitchen. It was established immediately that SHE would not be buying him a kitchen and then the conversation quickly shifted to her trying to convince me this was an unnecessary gift for me or anyone else to buy for my son. Right away I picked up on the fact that she thought this was a gift only appropriate for girls. However, she wasn't saying that. She became supremely frustrated and finally....)

Her: "WHAT IF HE GROWS UP TO BE a... a... a... a... CHEF?????????"
Me: "Do you mean gay?"

Her(Exasperated and Breathless): "What?????????"
(She really needs to see an Otolaryngologist about this intermittent deafness.)
Me: "Gay."

Her: "I didn't say THAT."
Me: "Is that what you meant?"

Her: "NO!"
Me: "Good. I'm okay if he grows up to be a chef."
(I add silently): "Or Gay."