What I Hate

Slamming my finger in anything
Sinus headaches
Vicoden and Valium require a doctor's prescription
Stubbing my toe
Cellulite
The slapping noise my breasts make against my rib cage if I run up the stairs without a bra
Morning sickness
Babies die

Stay at home mom's who feel sorry for my children. (Don't worry about my kids, worry about your own that don't get much of a chance to be away from you.)

Greed
Prejudice
Bigotry
Poverty
Homelessness
Hunger

Ann Coulter
Big Ears
The Dick that lives at Number One Observatory Circle

PTA Mom's (I believe their secret mission is to make life hell for mothers who work outside of the home. In the spirit of full disclosure, I am a member of the PTA. But, let's be clear. I am a member only so that I can have access to the school directory and have my children's information included in said directory. Otherwise, I punish my children by being unable to invite their friends to their birthday parties and my children will not be invited to the PTA mom's parties because they do not know how to contact us.)

My mother insisting on asking what I'm bringing to Christmas dinner - in J-U-L-Y. (If you ask me in July, the answer is NOTHING.)
My mother insisting on Christmas shopping for my children - in J-U-L-Y. (Who the hell knows what they will be into in 6 months or what size they will be then? If you force me to give an answer in July, its your own damned fault they don't like your gift.)

Stupid people who drive, talk to me, shop where I shop, are elected to any position of power, or are on TV.

Cell phone stalkers (I have caller id and know how to check my missed calls and access my voicemail. I am not deaf and if I didn't answer, its NOT because I didn't hear the phone.)

Closed casket funerals (If you die, and I care enough about you to actually put on panty hose and attend your funeral, I want to see you dead. This helps me know you're really dead and to get closure and not expect to see you again. It also helps me to focus on the wonderful things the minister says about you during the service instead of wondering what your mother-in-law has dressed you in and if you your body is destined to spend eternity wearing a color of lipstick that is less than flattering.)

Sports bras worn as "bra tops" (There is NO SUCH THING AS A BRA TOP. There are bras, tops and tops that contain built in bras. It's a bra and you're wearing it without a top. You wouldn't wear just your thong around the gym, please don't wear just your bra. I understand we all have nipples, I don't need visual confirmation of yours.)

Men who insist on taking up a pedicure chair that would otherwise be available to me (You make more money than I do, you've never had a period, a baby or a pap spear and you can have an orgasm as easy as you can snap your fingers... get the F out of my chair.)