Things I Hope to Teach My Children

1) Pokemon Trainer is not a real profession

2) There is no profession I will approve of that includes a pole

3) Tithing is a gift you give yourself

4) Sometimes the only way out of something is through it

5) Life isn't fair, but you've gotten a better start than 99% of the world's population

6) Money will not make you happy, but it can make your life a whole lot easier (so work hard)

7) If you're not getting what you want, trying giving someone else what they want

8) Sarcasm is encouraged

9) Gratitude is required

10) Your life will not turn out how you planned

11) #10 is a good thing

12) Be thankful for your tragedies, they teach you more than anything else ever could (Thank you Cameron for teaching me this)

13) God has a sense of humor and expects you to have one too

14) While honesty is the best policy, knowing when to shut up is just as critical

15) Be kind to waitstaff, they have hard jobs and they have control over the food you are going to put in your mouth

16) Faith is a choice - choose wisely

17) Alcohol, a piece of plywood, a flight of stairs and a fire extinguisher should never be used at the same time

18) Tatoos are permanent, piercings are not

19) What happens in Mexico does not ALWAYS stay in Mexico

20) Vote